If you are already not a great ballhandler, your best bet is to never ever look
at the ball while you're dribbling. By trying to dribble only through feel
alone, you'll be prone to many mishaps, from having an opponent steal the ball
from you to bouncing the ball off the side of your shoe.
If you are a great dribbler, you might want to try never dribbling. Always pass
the ball. If that doesn't work, try dribbling into a pack of people; this should
get the ball stolen from you. If that doesn't work, and you cannot successfully
pull off the stunts for the bad dribbler without being believeable, hold your
hand as stiff as possible and never grip the ball. Just keep swatting at it like
you're dribbling a ping pong ball with a paddle. The awkwardness of the motion
will give you the suckiness you require.
You can never go wrong with dribbling with two hands.