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November 17, 2007

Thanksgiving with the Van Gogh-Goghs

The Van Gogh-Goghs are tired of hearing about how horribly wrong your holiday dinner went with your family and friends. Judas Priest, people! How hard is it to sit down for an hour or three and eat and act like civilized doofi? We here at the Van Gogh-Gogh Institute of Having a Dignified Meal Once a Year want to show you all how proper people enjoy a holiday feast. Watch and learn!

Additional Thanksgiving Day links:

* What Thanksgiving means to Mythical Creatures
* The Story of the Real First Thanksgiving
* How to Win the Wishbone Pull
* Quiz: Tron or the 1st Thanksgiving?
* Thanksgiving Day Costumes
* 20 Thanksgiving Myths
* Thanksgiving Day Conversation Stoppers
* Thanksgiving Day Eating Games
* The Hand Thanksgiving
* Ham-Bone Pie
* Turn Your Head and Cough #13: Thanksgiving
* How to Win the Thanksgiving Day Food Fight


November 07, 2007

WTF Friday - Love and Marriage

Plain Talk About Love And Sex
This WTF Friday salutes Love and Marriage, 1950s Christian Sex Manual Style!!! Contrary to popular belief Jesus, is totally cool with you knockin' da boots- as long as it's with your wife. In this booklet, Plain Talk about Love and Sex for Christian Young People, the good William W. Orr A.B., M.A., Th.B., D.D. presents us with a few choice paragraphs:

Loving Caution

Aw COME ON!!! You spend the whole book telling them to wait for the wedding night, and then you STILL want them to slow down!? No wonder your religion's losing ground to Wicca.

Plain Talk About Love And Sex

Remember- this was written decades before Maxim magazine or Pants-Off Dance-Off even existed! But garsh! So it's the "age of the brassiere?" hunh? Oh, that poor, poor old man- I only hope God called him home before the 1960s destroyed every last ounce of hope he had in humanity. Also, you must now go and start a band called "Sex Wackey." Bonus points if it's Christian rock.

Plain Talk About Love And Sex

"The sex nectar will never lose its tangy zest." Wow. I think this passage means that you're supposed to swallow. I could be wrong. Also, you must now go and start a band called "Sex Nectar." Bonus points if it's Christian rock.