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MP3x3 Monday! Neil Diamond

Neil Diamond and Fonz. What the hell with that sweater, Fonzie?
MP3 Monday is celebrating pop singer Neil Diamond's birthday this week (January 24th). With a long recording career, the "Jewish Elvis" as he was called, has had many, many hits. But right now we're going to focus on some of the ...um.... lower points in his oevre. In this special edition, we're featuring not one, but three songs, making this MP3x3 Monday! "The Pot Smoker's Song" is from his 1968 album with the tragic title Velvet Gloves and Spit. Not so much a song, really, as an extended PSA featuring the spoken words of REAL, LIVE drug addicts about the dangers of yes, marijuana, as a gateway drug to other, harder things. Actual quote from one of the, remember, ACTUAL, REAL-LIFE drug addicts: "I also used to shoot acid in my spine." Uh, that's not how you take acid, dude. Also, reaching around behind you to your spine seems awfully inconvenient. Also, here's a fact tip for you: the spine is full of bones. Needles and bones don't mix. Now, all together, folks: THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT "DOPE!"

The next track is not that obscure, merely ridiculous. From his 1977 Love at the Greek double live album, "Song Sung Blue" features Neil dragging some guest stars onstage: first Helen Reddy, of "I Am Woman" fame, whom he calls "bubie." and then at the 2:12 mark, none other than Henry Winkler, the Fonz from Happy Days. And Neil makes the Winkler sing. And Winkler goes along! I am Fonz, hear me roar! Why the Diamond-Reddy-Winkler supergroup then broke up, I'll never know. Okay, it's because Winkler is a terrible singer. It's too bad, because I thought of some great names: Red Diamond Wink, Hell on Winks, Wink on You Ready Diamond.

The last track is from 1968's Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits; his cover of the dumbass novelty tune "Hanky Panky." What it's doing on this album is debatable, cause it ain't no damn hit. The word "filler" springs to mind. Probably the record label made him do it. So Neil's smart- he's thinking: how can I do this stupid tune, yet disassociate myself from it!? I know! I'll pretend to not want to do it on the recording itself! And yet do it anyway, even though I hate it! Genius. Pure genius. And meta. Pure meta.

The Pot Smoker's Song (3:57 / 6.4MB)
Song Sung Blue (4:07/ 6.7 MB)
Hanky Panky (2:47 / 4.5 MB)

MP3s provided for entertainment and sampling purposes only. After you've sampled them, you are obligated to delete them, so we don't get in trouble with the MAN. These MP3s will be deleted the split-second we get the cease-and-desist email.

Next Week: Some totally obscure crap no record company can even remember owning the rights to.

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