THE VAN GOGH-GOGHS GREAT TEXAS ADVENTURE
(by T. Mike)
A Republic Serial Starring:
ADAM MCKAYE from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
SOME OTHER GUY also from Saturday Night Live somehow
DEL CLOSE, Improvisational GURU and former junkie of the ages
GARY AUSTIN'S HAIR - A proud & magnificent shining silver mane of hair.
GARY AUSTIN - This improv guy who lives under Gary Austin's Hair
Also starring members of the improv troupes: Monks' Night Out, Mumblypeg, Theater Strike Force, Freudian Slip, Oui Be Negroes, The Transactors, The Van Gough-Coughs, Only 90% Effective, & 4 Out Of 5 Doctors
special guest appearance by: the guy who runs the karaoke machine!
also featuring, in lesser roles (cameos, really):
T. Mike Childs as the man who lived to tell the tale
Rob Terrell as the guy who drove the most
Galen Black as the man who brought a video camera along
Charles Rempel as the guy who brought the most snacks
Jason Torchinsky as the boy addicted to electricity
Alan Benson as "Al"
||Getting There is Half the Fun. And Most of the Tedium.
||New Orleans: A Night of Passions, A Day of Regrets, A Hotel Room of Stenches.
||A Few Hours In Nowhere: Chappell Hill, Texas- The Town that Time Forgot!
||Strangers in a Strange Land of Strange Strangeness
||AUSTIN - Day Two (collect 'em all!): Tales From The Classrooms
||AUSTIN - Day Three, Let's Say.
||The Long Trip Back.
Our tale begins many, many, many weeks ago in 1996 in Chapel Hill, NC just as the last of the dinosaurs were killed off by a giant meteorite. Thunder roars! Lightning clashes! The very ground is rent asunder by the cataclysmic stresses!!! Earth cries "uncle" to Nature's cruel arm twist! Meanwhile, not far away, the Van Gogh-Goghs, disguised as mild mannered folk, hold yet another meeting in an old gas station that has been converted into an abandoned building. Let's pretend we're a fly on the wall and listen in:
Somebody kill that #@*% fly!
I'm bored. Again.
JASON OR ROB
Whatever shall we do?
AL, NO, GALEN
This consarned meteorite has killed off almost all our audience. Dinosaurs were our biggest fans.
CHARLES OR ROB OR AL
Oh, we have human fans. Fan. Selena's there for every show!
Oh, sure- Selena doesn't mind crossing the rivers of molten lava to get to our shows, but most mammals are spending more time indoors every since the meteor kicked up all that ash into the atmosphere, blocking our light and heat and causing a "nuclear winter."
ME. I MEAN, T. MIKE
I hate it when you "finger quote" like that.
NOT T. MIKE
We need to break out of our rut! And maybe brush up on comedic skills that appeal more to warm blooded, fur bearing creatures.
LESSEE, I PICK...AL
AL AGAIN, I GUESS
I saw on the web that a comedy group and club in Texas are having a big improv fest. Many improv groups from around the nation will come. Many well-known improv people will be there to teach us in improv classes. World renowned improv stars like, like.... um. Hmm. Well, let's go anyway!
RANDOM VAN GOGH-GOGH
But we're a sketch comedy group! Will they allow us to attend an improv festival?
Don't worry, they're desperate!
And so a mere notion, born of an inkling and random web surfing, was coddled into a fancy, which grew into an idea, which clarified itself into a concept. A concept so startling it could only be told in all caps: THE VAN GOGH-GOGHS WOULD TRAVEL HALF THE COUNTRY TO PLAY THEIR FIRST OUT OF STATE SHOW! All that remained was to promptly forget to mail the relevant Texans a $50 registration check. This having been done a van was rented. Hotel rooms were rented. Charles rented some beer. Someone found a map of the United States. Someone said this trip won't take long, Texas is less than a foot from North Carolina. Someone was slapped. Someone learned an inch represents one hundred miles. Someone realized New Orleans was practically on the way why don't we stop there for the night and party, so we'll be refreshed for the rest of the journey. Someone said hey look, there's a Chappell Hill, Texas, why don't we stop there FOR NO GOOD REASON! Most frightening of all, the Van Gogh-Goghs had to coordinate their schedules together for an entire week!
All these things did now take place, although not necessarily in this order. A solemn compact was formed in that one single three month period prior to the trip. A compact that rang clear and true from hill and dale: We Can't Leave Anyone Behind, No Matter How Funny It Would Seem At The Time. This compact begrudgingly agreed to, we all plighted our troths! Or something like that.