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MP3 Monday - Mr. T

Celebrity Mr. T is a minor miracle. He has transcended his tragicomic status (first fool-pitying, then cancer) to become a pop-culture icon. But to be able to transcend tragicomic status, first you must be tragicomic. No single aspect of Mr. T's career better embodies that than his 1984 album, Mr. T's Commandments. Why? Because Mr. T can't sing, and has no rhythm. Seriously, ya gotta love the guy, but an unbalanced washing machine has a better sense of rhythm than Mr. T. His album is hilarious as he attempts to rap and sing. But you're not gonna get to hear it. Why? Because no one voted, so we are going to have to punish you all. Instead of Mr. T, you're getting Valerie Landsburg singing "Try," from Mr. T's hilarious TV special, Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool. It's bad. And not good-bad, either. Just bad. Listen, suffer, and next time, VOTE!!!

Download (6.8MB / 4:10)

NEXT WEEK: For no reason, our theme is VIETNAM! Maybe you can use your imaginations, and think of some crazy thing Vietnam might currently be a metaphor of.
* The weird spoken word poem "I Have Died In Vietnam" from 1976.

*Something by Colonel Kilgore's Vietnamese Formation Surf Team.

*"Vietnam Will Win" - A pro-commie Vietnam war epic by The Red Star Singers, an honest-to-gosh Commie folk/choir group. From their 1974 album The Force of Life. I'd call this song prophetic, but calling a Vietnam War winner in 1974 is pretty damn late in the game.

Use the comments button to VOTE NOW!!!!


Where is the furniture porn? I did a search and it didn't appear. I want to fluff my ottoman and get off.

Why, right where it's always been:


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