|Use three gerunds to describe yourself:
||Smashing, Dashing, ReallyDamnSexyEvenWhileMarried-ing|
|Do you like piña coladas?:||No|
|And getting caught in the rain?:||Yes|
|Are you not into yoga?:||Yes|
|Do you have half a brain?:||Yes|
What do you look for in a T. Mike?:
Well, truthfully, more "T" than Mike. Don't get me wrong. The Mike is ok, but damn... that "T". Hey don't get defensive. Yes, yes, I know the "Mike" is a lot like "Mikey" but come-on. "T-Bone", "Mister T", "T-Bills", "T time" (the damn brits spell it 'tea'), the list goes on and on. The Mike is good though. It is like fine wine. Sure it tastes good, but only because it was topped off with the cork. Yeah... the "T" is my cork, and the "Mike" is my wine. So that just makes T. Mike like, uhmm, a really neato drink.
|How hot would you say you are?:||Yes|
|How big a bowl do you need for a haircut?:||Cereal|
Describe your perfect date:
1) A surprising lack of sex.
2) More of number 1.
3) Free food.
4) More of 1 & 3. 2 is ok too.
5) No sexually transmitted diseases (see #1)
6) Expensive keepsakes
7) Did I say free food?
8) A romantic walk thru LA (stilling focusing on #1 above) but not thru any high-shooting areas (which by definition avoids schools).
9) Dancing (but not to music, the beat is too damn hard to keep up with).
10) Dessert. No, no, not in violation of #1, more like in addition to #3.
Where would you take T. Mike on this date:
Well, given that he is a VGG and that I don't really want to have to kick in any money. I gonna go with "Taco Bell". Or maybe Spago. Me. Wolfgang. T. Mike. My wife. The chaperone. The camera-dork. Who could think of a better evening.
|Is any special equipment required for the date you have in mind?:||Yes|
|If the VGGs weren't forking out the cash for this, who would pay for your date:||T. Mike|
|So, uh, do you have a sister?:||No, but even if I did, I'd claim not to.|
|You do realize that we're not paying your way to LA if you do happen to win?:||Yes|
Anything else you'd like to add?:
Well, for starters, having been married now for sometime, I think it is time to, uhmm, you know, experiment with (giggle) cross-gender spouse swapping. Especially sine the lame "wife" swapping thing has been done to death. I mean come-on, how different would just another "woman" be. What's the point? I mean would you swap your socks out each morning for a different pair? Especially if they don't have holes? Me neither.
Second, as a devoted "lover" of Van Gogh-Goghs, it is far time that I expand my collection. I'm sure it is common knowledge that I have already slept with Jason (oh, yeah... he remembers Alabama...) In fact on that (you know, Alabama) very trip, I was, by my estimate, very close to Alan. If it hadn't of been for the whole Catholic/Baptist thing, I was there baby.
Third. Well, there isn't a "third" but I was taught in school that you should have a third. And much like when I was in school, this third is really filler material. But as the reader can clearly ascertain with little effort and with great ease of observation; this is good filler.
PS - Please note the impressive use of the semi-colon. I not sure it was right, but what the hell.
PPS - Did I mention T. Mike. Hmmm, probably not enough. So:
while not theChosenOne
(See, I'm a "bonified" tech worker. A real catch!)