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Rejected Licence Plate Slogans
by Alan Benson
In celebration of the millennium, a lot of states are redoing their licence plates and adopting new slogans. None of mine got picked, though.
- Alabama: We May Suck, But We're First Alphabetically
- Alaska: Send Women Please!
- Arizona: The Head-Crammed-Up-Ass State
- Arkansas: Roadkill Capital of the World
- California: Where the Smog Meets the Landfills
- Colorado: America's Shitheap
- Connecticut: Where the Rich White People Roam
- Delaware: Rhode Island Without the Glamour
- Florida: Whippersnappers Stay Out!
- Georgia: Where NASCAR Is An Art
- Hawaii: Haole Go Home
- Idaho: Now Mostly Paranoid Bigots
- Illinois: Screw this "Lake Effect Snow" Crap
- Indiana: Land of 10,000 Mullets
- Iowa: The "Holy God This Is Boring" State
- Kansas: Sorry About That Band
- Kentucky: It's Amazing What Drunk Horses Will Do
- Louisiana: Geneticists' Paradise
- Maine: The Alabama of the North
- Maryland: The "Shove It" State
- Massachusetts: Home of the Northern Liberal
- Michigan: Let Me Tell You About Our Militias
- Minnesota: The People Who Laugh At Garrison Keillor
- Mississippi: Famous Racists
- Missouri: Show Me Your Tits
- Montana: Fat Ass Country
- Nebraska: No Longer Mostly Inbred
- Nevada: Hookers and Craps -- American Paradise
- New Hampshire: Live Free or Move to Vermont
- New Jersey: Where New York Shits
- New Mexico: Stop Trying To "Give Us Back"
- New York: Home of the Loud, Pushy Asshole
- North Carolina: Slightly Better Than South Carolina
- North Dakota: Yes, People Actually Live Here
- Ohio: Mayo Goes On Everything
- Oklahoma: The Slow Drawl State
- Oregon: The Apathetic Sta
- Pennsylvania: Where New Jersey Shits
- Rhode Island: We Are Too A "Real State"
- South Carolina: First in Secession
- South Dakota: Crossroads of the Dakotas
- Tennessee: Celebrating 50 Years Of Shitty Country Music
- Texas: Crazy 'Bout Guns!
- Utah: Mormons As Far As The Eye Can See
- Vermont: Birthplace of the Insufferable Hippie
- Virginia: Virginia is for Lepers
- Washington: Not The Cool Washington, The Other One
- Washington, D.C.: Try The Crack
- West Virginia: Not Just Strip Mines and Rednecks Any More
- Wisconsin: Cow Pie Paradise
- Wyoming: I Live In Wyoming. Please Kill Me.
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