What is sexy? Six white dorks who do sketch comedy. Mmmm yeah. And now, as a service to the Web, we want to share some of our most effective, mostly non-gender-specific pickup lines. Next time you're at a social gathering, whip one of these out and just watch the hot and cold running chicks and/or dudes start flowing.
You can thank us later.
- Do you ever think about why kids call urinating pee pee? I think about it a lot. Almost every day.
- Let me show you where I'm wettest.
- I'm so lonely I'd fuck anything. Buy you a drink?
- Check it out baby: No restraining orders!
- Hey, what's your sign? No, your Chinese zodiac sign. How old are you, stupid? You legal?
- If you get in the van I'll give you an ice cream sandwich.
- Know what I like best about you baby? You haven't maced me yet.
- You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
- Oooh, you're lookin' fine. Not in the good way, in the "you'll do" way.
- Hey baby, I sell clown cars.
- Hi. I collect twist ties.
- Hi. I hope to someday collect twist ties.
- I'm either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.
- Hey, can I try on your dentures?
- I think, of all the Dakotas, my favorite is South...next to you. Your name is Dakota, right? Oh really? OK, then I'd have to say South, followed by North.
- I really want to know more about you... starting with why you have that stupid look on your face.
- Dear God, I'm so itchy. Buy you a cocktail weenie?
- So your friend's really hot, but you'll do.
- If we're quiet, my roommate'll never know we're bumping uglies.
- Hey dollface, I got a rash that kinda looks like you.
- Here, hold my pants.
- Hey baby, wanna sleep with your father?
- I'm wearing your underwear.
- Mom and dad's outta town and the house is mine. Eh? Eh?
- Mmmmm! Titties!
- Hey baby, I got my own room. Or I would, except for my brother.
- I'll bet you a night of dinner and a movie that my finger smells worse than yours.
- Here's your fucking flower, marry me bitch.... Well, how about your friend?
- Who wants to sleep with Ernest Borgnine? (Note: To use this, you must be Ernest Borgnine, or maybe the guy who played Max on "Hart to Hart.")
- Someone call heaven, 'cause I think something died in here.
- The other day, I was so bored, I put a shot glass up my ass. Can I buy you a drink?
- Hi, I'm a Van Gogh-Gogh.