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| by Jason Torchinsky |
How many times has this happened to you: You're at a party, and your well-honed hottie sensors have targeted a sufficently attractive member of your preferred gender to place your moves upon. You sidle into position, cleverly trapping your prey between your arm and a convienent wall or precipitous fall, starting the line of patter that is calculated to end in an invitation for some prolonged, sweaty groping.
Halfway into your love-missive, you announce that you must extract a few bothersome and sharp boogers from your nostrils. You then proceed to root about in your nostrils, ejecting each mucousy offender with a flick of your finger. The next thing you know, you wake up on the floor with a bright red handprint on your face.
What happened? what went wrong? Well, my friends, I know the problem and it's solution. The problem is you sounded like a real square. Why? The word "nostrils." Not too cool, friend. The word 'nostrils' makes ANYone seem like a real jackass. But now, once again, here comes a VGG to light a scented candle rather than curse your darkness. It is my humble pleasure to provide to you, in essence, the tools you most need to get laid: 25 cooler terms for the word 'nostrils'. Use them well.
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‘Strils |
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Nose Holes |
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Mucus Chutes |
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Snot Pots |
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The Gals from Hole |
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The Ol‘Factory Outlets |
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Smeller Fellers |
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Nez Pierces |
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Air I/O Ports |
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The Proper Channels |
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Wind Tunnels |
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Nose-Flute Jacks |
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Gateways to the Sinuses |
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Booger Barrels |
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Stinktanks |
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Respiration Perforations |
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Noslings |
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Nose Anuses |
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Air Pair |
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Moustache Blow Dryers |
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Moustache Vacuums |
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Lung Chimneys |
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Laughter-Activated Emergency Milk-Ejection Shunts |
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Aromans |
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Finger Warmers |
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© copyright 2000 The Van Gogh-Goghs
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