A Dream I Had About Kermit
(Characters from the Jim Henson Company used without permission.)
by T. Mike
The dream is very short.
Kermit the Frog is sitting on the lap of Monica Lewinsky. She begins petting his head and stroking him in a manner that quickly moves from friendly to sexual. Kermit is doing his patented "I'm uncomfortable" schtick, swallowing, looking around nervously and trying to say something but never getting past a cough or "um."
Suddenly this tableau is immediately replaced by a very similar one of Kermit sitting on the lap of Jon Lovitz. Lovitz is playing the character of a stereotyped Latin lover named "Alonso Fonso" and is wearing a billowy white shirt unbuttoned to show some chest and a black vest and tight black pants. In a parody of the previous scene, Alonso then also begins to pet and stroke Kermit in a erotic and sexual manner.
There the dream ends.
Jim Henson passed away, sadly, in 1990. But perhaps my dream is an attempt to tell me that it was for the best, lest he had then been forced to comment, via muppets, upon the ubiquitous Lewinsky scandal of the 90s, perhaps in the manner described above in my dream.
Upon reflection, I am surprised that no role was afforded Miss Piggy in my dream. Her jealous, possessive feelings towards Kermit are well known and a source of much mirth. If the scene in my dream took place on a currently running version of the old "Muppet Show," then surely Miss Lewinsky would have gotten karate chopped in the gut with a ferocious "hi-yaa!"
Unless perhaps there is an unspoken parallel between Miss Piggy and Miss Lewinsky. Aside from the obvious physical resemblance, there is the sexual tension between both of them and Kermit. Perhaps, in the dream, Monica Lewinsky was a stand-in for Miss Piggy herself, lavishing sexual attention on an unwilling Kermit.
Also interesting is the inclusion, in my dream, of B-level (and falling) star Jon Lovitz. My unconscious mind instinctively knew that he would be perfect: comical appearance, needs the work, not controversial, a "safe" guest star. Also interesting is my extrapolation of Mr. Lovitz's somewhat fey public manner into full-fledged, openly flouted homosexuality. My conscious mind may give Mr. Lovitz the benefit of the doubt. But my unconscious mind has already outed him on a national TV show, coming on to a muppet, the "Alonso Fonso" character giving him the thinnest of beards to hide behind.
What conclusions can be drawn from this dream?
1. Don't cry for Jim Henson, Argentina. He's in a better place now, where everyone acknowledges the brilliance of "The Dark Crystal."
2. I think Jon Lovitz is gay.
3. I loves Muppets.
I thank you for your time.
back to T. Mike's page