THE THEO REPORT
"Your source for news about
the Van Gogh-Goghs and
other trifling affairs."
Vol. 2, Issue 11............11/22/99
In this issue:
*We're a top-three humor site?
*VGG-brand holiday fun
*Van Gogh-Goghs go icon-crazy!
*Who looks dorkiest in a beret?
*New Prove Us Wrong!
*Cyber dreidel fun
*We really want someone to do the scavenger hunt
*Win a t-shirt
*A special treat: How to unsubscribe
HUH? WHUZZA? WHO? WHAT'S THIS?
It's the email newsletter of the Van Gogh-Goghs sketch
comedy group. Read it, enjoy it, pass it along to your
and encourage them to sign up themselves at
<http://www.vgg.com/bookindex.html>. If you don't want
get it any more, follow the unsubscribing instructions
the bottom of the message. We'll miss you if you go.
WE'RE A TOP-THREE HUMOR SITE?
According to U.S. News & World Report's Nov. 15 issue,
we are. In their Best of the Web feature
we were named one of the three best humor sites on the
Web (along with the Onion and McSweeney's). That's U.S.
News & World Report, people! The arbiter of comedy in
this post-Cold War era. I mean, when I want really
high-quality comedy, I think immediately of U.S. News &
World Report. Heh.
OK, we're as mystified by the honor as you. But we're
also flattered, and we're not above crowing about it in
an email newsletter (such as we're doing right now).
VAN GOGH-GOGHS GO ICON-CRAZY!
Want to clutter up your hard drive with pictures of our
ugly faces? Sure you do! Yes, you do. Look, I'm almost
certain you do. OK, let me put it to you this way:
Would you rather have pictures of us on your hard
drive, or be hit in the head with a red-hot mallet?
What do you mean "I'm thinking about it"?!
Look, enough foolishness. Head over to
<http://www.vgg.com/icons/> and download official Van
Gogh-Gogh icons for Mac and Windows. Or, if you like,
you can just look at the previews.
WHO LOOKS DORKIEST IN A BERET?
So the other day, we were sitting around the practice
space, and one of us put on this beret we have in our
prop room (don't ask), and another one of us said "hey,
you look dorky," and still another one of us said "hey,
who doesn't look dorky in a beret?" And suddenly, we
were inspired! We headed right out and created a new
bunch of icons. And then, we decided to see which one
of us looks dorkiest in a beret. You can vote for
yourself at <http://www.vgg.com/beret/>
NEW PROVE US WRONG!
OK, OK, we were a little off-base about that whole
"hooray"="yahoo" thing. One guy even used physics, or
calculus, or maybe it was trigono ... trigano ...
trigeno ... algebra in his solution. But this won't
happen again. This time we're sure that the American
french fry is the absolute perfect vehicle for ketchup
(or, for those of you who've been to finishing school,
"catsup"). Of course, you could always Prove Us Wrong
CYBER DREIDEL FUN
Step right up folks, step right up. Spin the dreidel,
win some gelt. It's the future of gaming, and it's at
<http://www.vgg.com/dreidel.html>. All the party rabbis
in the house say "hey...ho...hey...ho!"
WE REALLY WANT SOMEONE TO DO THE SCAVENGER HUNT
Please folks, don't make us think we wasted our time
secreting a box containing a free t-shirt, fun crap,
and FREE passes to EVERY Van Gogh-Gogh show EVER
somewhere out in the desert. Take the Desert Scavenger
Goldurnit, once again we got a grand total of jack
entries in the win-a-shirt contest. People, we are
GIVING AWAY CLOTHING here. Giving it away. That means
it's free to you. We even pay postage. All you have to
do is move your mouse a little. Maybe do some clicking.
You won't even need a calculator. Sheesh.
Anyhoo, our last question involved Pixel 3000
<http://www.vgg.com/pixel/>. The question was:
How old is the guy who translated "Who's On First?"
And the answer? 86. How do we know? WE PARTICIPATED.
Maybe it's the holiday stress, but it really rasps our
cheese when no one enters. So we're giving you another
chance. To win a FREE Van Gogh-Gogh t-shirt, just
answer us this:
What skit haiku contains the line "Eddie works at
Email the answer, your name and mailing address, and
shirt size to <email@example.com>. It's first-come,
first-served. Do it.
OK, WE'RE DONE
Have an acceptable Thanksgiving. Email us at
firstname.lastname@example.org if you wanna talk.