Selections from T. Mike's Notebook
by T. Mike
Write essay: "How I Didn't Notice Kato Katelin Even Though I Was Standing Right Next to Him." Needs better title- "Paradise Lost" already taken? Look up.
Finish partial libretto for my opera about cheese. Main characters:
- Cheese Maker
- The Cheese Maker's wife
- The evil Butter Baron
- An Enzyme
Finish article: Why I Hate Comedy
Make my collection of pictures of Nazi UFOs available online. Announce to relevant newsgroups.
Write angry letter to the Standard Candy Company of Tennessee, re: bug in GooGoo Cluster Supreme. Demand replacement candy or 35 cents.
Write movie about Mafia! (Do soon, before someone steals idea)
Write spec sitcom script about this guy, only he's funny. (flesh out)
Write novel about English character Sir Fickleby, who does something with bread. Use pseudonym "Benjamin W. Chassis"
Draw designs for my line of weeble-based drinking glasses.
Red and blue contact lenses for 3-D movies!
Try to pass off those bent paperclips as my series of sculptures in miniature. Get grant (big one). Buy Jason new paperclips.
Write series of short biographies of great unsung artists of the 20th century. Start w/Earl Scheib.
Finish Ziggy erotic fan fiction story.
Write melody for lyrics to my biting song about how much I hate the Bauhaus school of architecture. (remember- synthesizer is missing D# key!)
Movie where two characters switch bodies. Father/son has been done. Maybe sister/stepsister? Great uncle/grandnephew? Guy/his cousin? Guy/monkey? Monkey/monkey's uncle?
Finish compiling statistics from the last 9 years conclusively proving I wrote more skits than any other group member.
Make list of cool fake names to use in porn.
Vomit-based teeth whitening system.
Explain how electric cars mean more roadkill. Quote Ed Begley, Jr. out of context; make look stupid.
Start rumor that you can email the entire Internet using: *@*.com
Steal Charles' idea for drinking game version of board game Life.
Write angry essay about how everyone spells Mao Tse Tung, "Mao Zedong" now. Start petition to change it back.
Write Greek myth about Gorgon's sister -She was like the Gorgon, except her look could only turn sedimentary rocks into metamorphic rocks.
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