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Selections from T. Mike's Notebook

by T. Mike

* Write essay: "How I Didn't Notice Kato Katelin Even Though I Was Standing Right Next to Him." Needs better title- "Paradise Lost" already taken? Look up.

* Finish partial libretto for my opera about cheese. Main characters:
  • Cheese Maker
  • The Cheese Maker's wife
  • The evil Butter Baron
  • An Enzyme

* Finish article: Why I Hate Comedy

* Make my collection of pictures of Nazi UFOs available online. Announce to relevant newsgroups.

* Write angry letter to the Standard Candy Company of Tennessee, re: bug in GooGoo Cluster Supreme. Demand replacement candy or 35 cents.

* Write movie about Mafia! (Do soon, before someone steals idea)

* Write spec sitcom script about this guy, only he's funny. (flesh out)

* Write novel about English character Sir Fickleby, who does something with bread. Use pseudonym "Benjamin W. Chassis"

* Draw designs for my line of weeble-based drinking glasses.

* Red and blue contact lenses for 3-D movies!

* Try to pass off those bent paperclips as my series of sculptures in miniature. Get grant (big one). Buy Jason new paperclips.

* Write series of short biographies of great unsung artists of the 20th century. Start w/Earl Scheib.

* Finish Ziggy erotic fan fiction story.

* Write melody for lyrics to my biting song about how much I hate the Bauhaus school of architecture. (remember- synthesizer is missing D# key!)

* Movie where two characters switch bodies. Father/son has been done. Maybe sister/stepsister? Great uncle/grandnephew? Guy/his cousin? Guy/monkey? Monkey/monkey's uncle?

* Finish compiling statistics from the last 9 years conclusively proving I wrote more skits than any other group member.

* Make list of cool fake names to use in porn.

* Office skit.

* Vomit-based teeth whitening system.

* Explain how electric cars mean more roadkill. Quote Ed Begley, Jr. out of context; make look stupid.

* Start rumor that you can email the entire Internet using: *@*.com

* Steal Charles' idea for drinking game version of board game Life.

* Write angry essay about how everyone spells Mao Tse Tung, "Mao Zedong" now. Start petition to change it back.

* Write Greek myth about Gorgon's sister -She was like the Gorgon, except her look could only turn sedimentary rocks into metamorphic rocks.

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