Do you love to yo-yo? Are your three favorite things the yo-yo, the art of yo-yoing, and me? Then this is your lucky day! Check out some of my favorite yo-yo tricks!

The Woodpecker
1. With an overhand toss, throw the yo-yo at the door of an ex-girlfriend.
2. Swing yo-yo back and catch it.
3. Repeat until ex-girlfriend calls the cops.

The Fat Lip
1. Hold the yo-yo with your palm face-up.
2. Throw the yo-yo out in front of you, as if tossing a softball.
3. Pull back on yo-yo hard and hit self in the mouth with it.

The Eunuch
(A variation of the Fat Lip)
1. Hold the yo-yo with your palm face-down.
2. Throw the yo-yo out in front of you, as if tossing a baseball.
3. Pull back on yo-yo hard and hit self in the groin with it.

The Crazed Lunatic
1. Dangle the yo-yo by the full length of the string.
2. Walk into a crowded place.
3. Scream, "Who dares to speak the name of Mysti-Carl, the ruler of the 12th Dimension?!?"
4. Swing the yo-yo rapidly above your head, as if it were a lasso, and continue until the S.W.A.T. team takes you out cleanly.

The Man Desperate for a Date
1. Cut the string of your yo-yo just above the yo-yo.
2. Wind the string around the yo-yo.
3. Go to a bar, find a girl you'd like to know better, and ask her if she'd like to see a yo-yo trick.
4. Throw the yo-yo downward and let the yo-yo roll off the string, and across the bar floor.
5. Sob pathetically and hope for pity sex.

Walking Cane
1. Starch the string until it is as stiff as a board.
2. Grasp the yo-yo with an overhand grip (string should be pointing at the ground).
3. Use the yo-yo as a walking cane.