Prove Us Wrong Number 18
Good evening netizens, and welcome to Chez Prove Us Wrong! I am T. Mike, I will be your waiter tonight. May I reccommend our specials: Crow, Humble Pie, and our chef's speciality, Your Own Words- twisted, misquoted, taken out of context, and served flung back at you, or thrown in your face. No? You would all like to order the sweet taste of Victory? It's a little too sweet and rich, don't you think...? Er, the Crow is especially good tonight...uh... but I see you have made up your minds. Very well. And I suppose you would all like Champagne to drink with that? But of course.
The Van Gogh-Goghs' "Prove Us Wrong" feature sucks and they should stop doing them immediately. After this one.
Date: Saturday, January 6, 2001 2:18 AM
I say you should stop doing the prove us wrong crap for many reasons... but
mainly because you stole my "something on the wing" joke! You bastards!
That was all I had!! I didn't steal that stupid York Peppermint Patty yadda
yadda, and look how you repay me!!
By the way, if you could be so kind as to not tell William Shatner I stole
his "something on the wing" bit, I'd be very grateful... That guy could eat me.
I'm sorry, Eric. In the face of your erratic behavior and demeanor, your wild threats and baseless accusations, and your blatant anti-Prove Us Wrong stance, we've had precious little choice but to inform William Shatner to go and eat you. One day you'll thank us. One day, in the future, when you're an enormous pile of Shatner poo, you'll look back and say "I'm glad the Van Gogh-Goghs sicced a hungry Bill Shatner on me; I certainly learned the error of my ways that day. They helped me become the contributing member of society I am today, working for the State Department." That's right, Eric, you may think we're some kind of ogres, having you masticated and processed into poo by the mighty bowels of Bill Shatner, but in reality, we're setting you up for a bright future where, as a U.S. advisor to Africa, you'll proudly serve your country attracting flies so they won't crawl all over the faces of those starving, starving children.
Date: Saturday, January 6, 2001 3:34 AM
Okay, okay. I've got another one. NO! Don't you walk out of here! I'm not
done yet! You look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you!! That's it,
mister. You're grounded!! ...ahem. Disregard that. Temporary insanity,
you know. It comes and goes... well, mostly it just comes. Anyway, this
time I'm going to actually try to prove you wrong instead of trying to make
you get rid of this feature. (Still can't believe you took my bit. You'll
burn in hell for that one.) Okay, you should keep this stupid feature
because it gives your site content that it otherwise wouldn't have. And the
beauty of it is that we, the fans, provide half of it! Sure, you could get
rid of it, but then you'd be too busy writing dumb(er) things like what
Charles would do if he went bald. And you'd be writing ALL of that. Scary,
huh? Now, we're all very lazy, and if we help each other we'll be finished
faster and able to get back to our cheap booze and Seinfeld re-runs.
You know, you're pretty mouthy for future Shatner stool. I don't regret our decison to have him eat you one bit. No siree! As for the other, "accurate" part of your email that proves us wrong, I think we can safely gloss over that now and concentrate on the part where Bill Shatner eats you. That's the part I like, anyway. Am I right people?! Yeah!! Shatner eatin'! HELL YEAH!!!! Someone call the networks, I got an idea- a Survivor show where ya lock everyone in a motel room with Bill Shatner. The last one to be eaten by Shatner gets a big prize, like... um... getting to be eaten by Bill Shatner. Or something.
Date: Saturday, January 6, 2001 4:06 AM
We would never write that, because I will never go bald, thanks to the
genetics and hirsute nature of my ancestors. Viva my hairline!
The Van Gogh-Goghs
> From: EricRhoemer@(deleted)
> Date: Fri, 5 Jan 2001 22:33:43 EST
> To: email@example.com
> Subject: Prove Us Wrong
> Sure, you could get
> rid of it, but then you'd be too busy writing dumb(er) things like what
> Charles would do if he went bald.
Charles, please, stay out of this. Let me handle this bum. I can take him! I coulda been a contender! Charles, what are you doing?! Jesus, no! Charles, please put down the hungry Bill Shatner! We can work this out! I can get you the money! I just need a little more time! I swear! SWEET JESUS DON'T DO THIS!!!! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MY EAR!!!! HE ATE MY EAR! AAAAA!
Date: Wednesday, January 31, 2001 11:16 PM
Listen imbecile, There's absolutely no reason to eliminate the "Prove Us
Wrong" feature under the reasoning that it sucks. Only a moron would pay to have a nose job on a face that resembles a jackass. Everything on this sight
sucks. The entire web sight should be eliminated, if not, leave "Prove Us
Wrong" alone. Let it continue morphing it's way into the rest of this urine smelling colostomy bag that is oddly referred to as a web sight.
Can I just say I don't understand how you can spell a hard word like "colostomy" right and completely screw up "web site." Other than that, bravo! Your argument was tightly reasoned, well-metaphored and succintly put. Plus, you also slagged us, and the horse we rode in on, all but good. Well done, old bean, well done. The only point I would possibly raise in our defense is, of course, the fact that we are rubber and you are glue and whatever you say bounces off of us and sticks to you!! Nanny nanny boo boo! Phhhllbbbttt!!!!
does Prove Us Wrong, in point of fact, suck? Ha ha! No, my friends, this whole charade was in fact, a trick question. Prove Us Wrong doesn't "suck;" Prove Us Wrong BLOWS. A subtle, but important distinction. So long chumps, and thank you for playing ...
Prove Us Wrong!