The Same Old, Same Old Party (SOSO)
Click here to see the profiles of the losers and analysis of the SOOP primary election.
When it comes the Same Old, Same Old Party (SOSO), the big question is: what happened? Tim Robbins' seemingly strong support simply evaporated. Some blamed his choice for veep, John Ritter, as the albatross that dragged Ritter down like a millstone around his achilles heel. That gives Ritter too much credit. Robbins lost "the big mo" himself. He simply didn't show himself to be made of presidential timber, showing himself made more of presidential plywood, or possibly presidential formica. Robbins's biggest weakness? The "dignity of the office" issue. Ford played the dignity card hard, fast, loose and to win. The ample evidence was all on Ford's side: Ford was previously president in "Air Force One," a gripping, drama-laden blockbuster thriller, while Robbins slummed his one term in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me," a low comedy, and mere sequel at that. Voters also punished Robbins for his highly unpopular plan as President to nuke the moon. Being a terrorist in "Arlington Road" was just the final nail that broke the coffin's back.
Perhaps the bitterest tasting blow to Robbins' fledgling Same Old, Same Old Party (SOSO) is that he did not get the 5% of the vote required to qualify for matching federal movie funds.
photo from the
Internet Movie Database
Francis Robbins on October 16, 1958, West Covina, California
Presidential Qualifications: Portrayed "the President" in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me."
Strength: Gained valuable campaign experience during his run for a U.S. Senate seat
in Pennsylvania ("Bob Roberts").
Weakness: Is an anti-government terrorist ("Arlington Road").
Strength: His stint as president of Hudsucker Industries ("The Hudsucker Proxy") and as a top studio executive ("The Player") gave him insight into the workings of the corporate world, as did his experience co-founding and running Video Aces, a video production business ("Tapeheads").
Weakness: Turned down the Frisbee ("The Hudsucker Proxy"). Founded Video Aces because he got fired from his security guard job for misuse of company resources.
Strength: Trained as a top U.S. Navy fighter pilot ("Top Gun").
Weakness: His stint in Vietnam drove him nuts ("Jacob's Ladder").
Science and Healthcare
Strength: As Woody Blake, Robbins participated in a rescue mission to Mars ("Mission to Mars").
Invented the Hula Hoop ("The Hudsucker Proxy"). Dated Einstein's niece ("I.Q.").
Weakness: Advocated nuking the Moon ("Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me").
Crime and Justice
Strength: Led the expedition to awaken the gods and end the age of Ragnarok ("Erik the Viking").
Weakness: Shot his wife while taking hostages at a car
dealership ("Cadillac Man") and later was convicted of murdering his wife ("The Shawshank Redemption"). Kiss that female vote goodbye.
Weakness: Appeared in "Howard the Duck," which may be a felony.
Carla's Fan Page for John Ritter
Born Jonathan Ritter on September 17, 1948, Burbank, California
Presidential Qualifications: Served as President Chet Roosevelt in "Americathon"
Strength: As U.S. President Chet Roosevelt, led the country out of debt by raising money on a telethon (Americathon). Also has experience working as a Senator's aide (Hearts Afire)
Weakness:The telethon only reached its goal by airing someone being shot on live television. A Senator's aide may be too "inside the beltway" for some voters.
Crime and Justice
Strength: Chief of Police of town terrorized by two psychopathic toys (Bride of Chucky)
Weakness: Befelled by doll. This may be seen as pathetic by some voters who consider dolls to be "harmless".
Strength: Served country in Vietnam and fought to raise public awareness of the effects of Agent Orange. (Unnatural Causes) Served country for a single episode tour of duty in Korea (M*A*S*H TV series)
Weakness Military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy may apply to the Commander in Chief and as openly gay store owner Vaughan Cunningham in "Sling Blade" the "tell" part is already done. While in recovering in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during Korean War, threatened Major Frank "Ferretface" Burns in attempt to avoid going back to fight the Red Menace. Coward.
Weakness: Lied about his sexuality in order to live with two single women. (Three's Company)
Strength: Single working parent (Problem Child 1 and 2) and father of two (Stay Tuned).
Weakness: Many people think motherless children are what is wrong with the country and if he cannot control his "problem child", how can he control a "problem congress". In other incarnation as father he ignores family and instead watches television (Stay Tuned). Oh, and he's a womanizing drinker who cheats on his wife (Skin Deep). Oh, and he is also a wife beating alcoholic (Unforgivable).
Religion and Spirituality
Strength: Saves wife from Satan. (Stay Tuned)
Weakness: Is Satan. (Wholly Moses)