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What Christmas Means To Mythical Creatures

What Christmas Means to Me

By El Chupacabra, as told to Rob Terrell
El Chupacabra


Christmas brings to mind warmth, that warmth created by the initmate closeness of a family, sitting around the tree on Christmas day, opening presents. A perfect day to me, aside from a day spent slaughtering chickens and goats and drinking their blood, is a whole day spend with the ol' family opening presents. Every year it's the same -- chicken intenstines and pint-sized containers of goat's blood -- but still I get excited and filled with suspense just staring at those packages under the tree. My brother would shake the packages to tell which was which, to hear the gore slosh, and by his stirring it I could smell the blood through the wrapping paper. What a stench! The whole house filled with the odor of pine needles and rotting gore! Ah, that's what Christmas means to me.

What Christmas Means to Me

By Nessie, as told to Rob Terrell


To me, Christmas means love -- a special, shared love, of family, of friends, of those we hold most dear. And it means spending time in a special place -- to me, that place is the bottom of Loch Ness, the place I've called home for centuries. But since I'm the last of my species, an ancient and almost extinct breed, Christmas has become more a time of mourning and loss, a time for me to lay at the bottom of the loch and weep for my missing species-mates, driven to their deaths by the changing climate and shifting ecology and the perfidy of man. I think back to my family and friends, I think of all those Christmas mornings we've spent together for millions of years, and then I think about how I'm the last one alive today, how I'm all fertile and ready to mate but there's nobody left to hump, and I get morose. They say the holidays make people more depressed than any other time of the year, and brother, don't I know it. Sometimes I'll surface and swim around and not even cares who sees me. Or sometimes I lash out and wreck a boat in anger. It's not my fault. It's just fate. That's how Christmas makes me feel.

What Christmas Means to Me

By Sasquantch, as told to Rob Terrell


Mmfff! Huuuuh! NNguu! Heeewwww! Mpawa! Sheeeeenawg! M-wang! Boweee! M-wang! Nguff! Nguff! Perfaaaaaaaaw! Yeeohhh, m-wang huuuuuh Mmffff Nguff! Bowee m-wang nguff prepaaaw yong fwassssau p'ing mpawa! Yeeeooooh mmmmmmm-wang! Peeeraaaaw!



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