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The Adventures of Good and Bad Galen
By Galen Black

Meet Good Galen and Bad Galen. They are about as opposite as two people sharing the same name can be. One is evil and the other is pure. Their stories are a lesson in how people should and should not behave in our civilized world. For example: Good Galen buys porn rarely and only if his cable is out. Bad Galen buys porn on the first Sunday after every paycheck.

Good Galen wears sunglasses to the newsstand and avoids all eye contact with all humans during his visit.
Bad Galen always greets the newsstand clerk with a loud "Hey, Johnny! New 'Barely Legal' in yet?"

Good Galen browses through the newspapers, then the news magazines, then the computer publications, then the wedding planning mags, then Better Homes and Gardens, then Reader's Digest, before going into the porn section.
Bad Galen complains that the porn section isn't closer to the front.

Good Galen grabs the first 6 publications he sees and leaves the porn section.
Bad Galen takes his time, carefully compares photo layouts between magazines, and asks other newsstand patrons their opinions of what magazines he should buy.

Good Galen always miscalculates how much the porn will cost and has to put at least two magazines back after the clerk rings up the purchase.
Bad Galen always miscalculates how much the porn will cost and begs others in the newsstand for more money.

Good Galen rushes to his car, throws the bag of porn into his trunk and speeds away.
Bad Galen looks at his mags as he walks to his car, stopping occasionally to say to a passing stranger, "Look at that! You ever had anything like that?"

Good Galen shreds the porn and disposes of the waste in a dumpster behind a police station so no children can find it.

Bad Galen throws his magazines into woods behind area schools when all the porn is "used up."
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