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Turkey Quarters

Turkey Quarters is fun no matter is there are just a few players or a whole lot! You'll need a quarter, a table, a turkey, and the rest of your Thanksgiving Day meal.

The player who shoots first is the one who can spit a half-stick of butter tha farthest. That player is named the Shooter and given the quarter.

Next, you need to stand the turkey on end, so that the gaping orifice is on top. The Shooter will now bounce or roll the quarter off the table and into the turkey hole.

If the Shooter is successful, then all the other players must give a silent prayer of thanks and eat a big spoonful of mashed potatoes (or whatever is available). If the shooter misses the turkey, he or she passes the quarter to the player on the left, and this continues in a clockwise pattern.

If the Shooter gets the quarter in the turkey three times in a row, he or she is allowed to make up a rule that lasts until the end of the game. If a player fails to follow a rule, they must eat. Here are some rule suggestions:

  • No one can say "Thanksgiving"
  • No one can use their hands to eat
  • No proper names allowed; everyone is called "pilgrim"
  • Everyone gobbles when the quarter goes in the turkey

If a player wants to quit, he or she must declare the intention of leaving. The player must remain for the next twenty shots, or until he or she pukes, whichever comes first.

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© copyright 2000 The Van Gogh-Goghs